BUBBLES, BRUSCHETTA...AND A BROKEN BLOW-DRYER

Today was a "interesting" day in our home. I am always open to my kids trying new ways to engage in something educational. I love when they are super excited about doing something they have never done before! Since I homeschool part-time, we do the typical reading, writing, and arithmetic subjects (in ways that are also engaging...hopefully), but we really seem to find joy in the unexpected, unplanned teachable moments. However, I have found that with many of those "teachable moments" come risks that I have to be willing to allow my children to take. In the unexpected, teachable moments, I am often forced to remove the metaphorical "protective bubble" in which I encase my children. Today was a day where I consciously popped the "bubble" and allowed them to explore in ways where every moment of their physical safety was not guaranteed.

You will understand this photo soon!

My youngest daughter (age 5) takes a cooking class through her school. She is really enjoying it and comes home wanting to recreate the food fabulousness she makes in class. The first day of the class she made bruschetta. I was surprised to discover that she chopped tomatoes and onions. My mind thought, "MY five year-old CUT something with....a KNIFE! Can SHE do that? CAN she do that? Can she do THAT?" I asked her about the safety measures that were in place, and felt a little silly that I did not know about her true capabilities. Why had I never let her cut with a knife? Why did I think she was too clumsy, too little, and too young? I was happy to learn that the kids were not using machetes in class, but instead, were equipped with simple, child-safe cutting tools.

Now, move forward a few weeks to tonight. Tonight was "the" night. The night she would make bruschetta for the family. She cleared a space on our messy kitchen counter and got out all of her ingredients. It was fun to see her work from memory....no list. Tomatoes, onion, basil, olive oil, balsamic vinaigrette, and toasted bread slices. I made it a point to "let her be" and only checked in periodically to see how she was doing....it was helpful that I was making dinner at the same time. :0) Due to my safety concerns (and the fact that we don't have a child-safe cutting utensil), I had her try using a butter knife to chop the tomatoes and onions. Who was I kidding? Talk about setting a kid up for failure! She quickly mentioned that her "knife" was not working. 

I did not want to squash her enthusiam. Great learning can come from cooking! So, I figured my only choice was to "pop her protective bubble" and let her use a real knife. I walked over to my knife block...slowly, carefully....and picked out a......steak knife. Handing my five year old a steak knife just seemed strange. ***Anyone who thinks this was a terrible idea, please don't call child services on me*** I promise, I was as freaked out as you might be right now reading this! 

A helping of steak knife with butter knife on the side...

We went over some safety precautions and I let her loose. I was so proud that I did not helicopter over her, but instead became okay with the fact that she "might" cut herself....a little. She was so happy as she chopped away at tomatoes and onions. She was careful, methodical, and cut (surprisingly) even- sized pieces. She dumped the chopped ingredients in a bowl and added basil, olive oil, and the vinaigrette. She mixed and mixed. Then she carefully spooned the mixture onto toasted bread slices spread out on a nice white ceramic plate. It was a masterpiece....and she knew it!

As she proudly put her plate in the center of the dining table, a very funny image appeared. Also on the table, right next to her beautiful bruschetta, was.....a broken, disassembled blow-dryer. You have one too, right??? No...oh. Well, about a week ago, my blow-dryer breathed its last breath in a puff of smoke and flame of glory. My oldest son asked if he could take it apart to see what the inside looked like. I immediately thought, "What the heck is in a blow-dryer? Is there anything toxic inside? Is it safe for him to disassemble?" I told him. "Sure!", but had every intention of dumping the thing when he forgot about it. He did not forget about it....and I did not dump it. So, earlier today, I made the executive decision to "pop his protective bubble" and let him rip the thing apart.

I still have no clue if there is anything toxic in the blow-dryer. I will "Goggle" it after I am done here. It was fun to hear his excitement as he discovered the inner workings of this hair drying wonder, and talk about the different connections he was observing. However, as evidenced today, he is a great project starter, but needs to grow in the area of project "completion" (it is a genetic defect passed down by his hot Daddy). Apparently, he had not finished Project Busted Blow Dryer and left it in disarray on the dining table. 

Please ignore the sophisticated paper bag table runner...and focus on our "centerpiece".

So, our family sat happily around the dinner table tonight, enjoying dinner and conversation with a centerpiece of bruschetta and broken blow-dryer bits. I know it happens everyday in homes everywhere. Right? Right. Well, even if you don't have a beautiful centerpiece, Super Moms, I want to encourage you to allow your kids to explore in ways that you might not usually allow.  I love my kids. I would die for my kids. I want them to be loving, healthy, happy contributors to society. However, I was challenged today to allow my kids to explore and experience things where they....just might cut themselves.....and possibly be exposed to something........toxic.....ooops.

"Pop the protective bubble" and allow your kids to explore things that intrigue them, experience things that they are passionate about...they may get a few bruises (or scars) along the way, but the learning and love for discovery that comes with it will be priceless.

Off to Google if there is anything toxic in a blow dryer....

DEALS!

I was asked by a pal to share some of my most favorite, "super" places to find deals (or other ideas for budget-challenged families). So here goes...

GROCERIES: We do our very best to eat organic, non-processed foods, but there are some areas where we simply don't have the budget to make it happen (I feed a family of 6 on $600 per month). Below is a mix of where I purchase the large amount of nourishment needed for our family.

Costco:
-organic chicken and ground beef
-butter from grass-fed cows
-organic olive oil
-organic whole milk
-almond milk
-organic bread
-organic carrots
-frozen organic mixed-veggies
-canned organic diced tomatoes
-cheese sticks
-nuts (almonds and cashews)
-toilet paper
-paper towels 

99cent Store: I know some people have bad, preconceived notions about this store.....but seriously go in one time and really have a good look around. They have many treasures! You may need to go to a few to find the "best" one in your area (they do vary). 
These are things that I buy that they always have (in our area):
-bananas
-bags of apples
-bags of oranges
-onions
-eggs
-salsa
-canned olives
-4 packs of apple sauce (with no added sugar)
-Swiss Miss and Nestle hot cocoa
-school supplies (poster boards, pencils, pens, erasers, paper, envelopes, etc.)
-toothbrushes/toothpaste
-plastic storage bags
-hand soap
-band aids
-hair accessories for the girls
-dog toys, dog bowls
-fish and turtle food (we have both pets)
-simple household tools and supplies (screw drivers, utility knives, duct tape, rope, etc.)
-cleaning supplies (sponges, dust pans, dish soap, etc.)
-gift bags, gift bag tissue, cards
-Kleenex
-great seasonal holiday sections

They often have:
-some sort of organic fruit or veggie (I have gotten blueberries, spinach, arugula, and carrots)
-fresh cilantro
-celery
-grapes
-radishes
-Chobani Greek Yogurt (for 79cents)
-crispy bread sticks (with only 7 ingredients....and I can read and understand them all: wheat flour, palm oil, tomato, yeast, salt, malt flour, and oregano)
-Gluten-free cereal
-Gluten-free pasta

Other healthy things they sometimes (rarely) have:
-organic milk
-organic yogurt
-organic salsa

This list does not include all of the great things at the store.....just the stuff that I purchase regularly. They also have things like: bagels, cream cheese, pretzels, soup, condiments, etc.. Give the store a chance!

Ralph's:
-Always look in the "Manager's Special" section...always. You never know what you will find. The best deal I ever found was boxes of Lara Bars....healthy snack bars (5 per box) for $1.79!!! That's right! $1.79 for the box! Usually Lara Bars are anywhere from $1-$1.50 per bar. They had a year before they expired, so I bought all that the store had (27 boxes...see pic below).

My Lara Bar Bounty!

I have also found boxes of organic granola bars (5 per box) for $1.29 and organic loaves bread for $1.50. In the meat section, I have found "Manager's Special": organic chicken, Applegate uncured bacon, and Aidell sausages for super cheap. In the produce section, I have found: pre-cut watermelon, apple slices, carrots, organic salad, packaged spinach and celery. With meat and produce the food is expiring within a day, but if you eat it that or the next it is a great deal!

-Ralph's is also starting to carry lots of organic food for much cheaper prices than Sprouts and Whole Foods.

Trader Joe's:
-They have lots of great prices on lots of things, but my only "must have" from this store is Envirokidz organic cereal for $2.50 a box (over $4 everywhere else)


KIDS' GIFTS:
-If you are in the Los Angeles area, the Mattel Toy Store in El Segundo is a must! They have great deals on certain days where you can get 25-75% off a variety of items. Also....my favorite section....the "damaged package" section. In this section, toys are already marked down because there is some sort of minor (or major) damage to a toy's packaging. AND in addition to the mark-down, they usually also give you an additional 50-60% off!!! I got a $70 Hot Wheel Wall Track with a minor puncture wound in the center of the back of the box for $15. My youngest son did not even notice the box damage...because he ripped the box open anyway! They usually have great special daily deals on Monster High, Barbie, and Hot Wheel toys. The only thing is that the deals are hit and miss. If you are flexible with what you want to purchase, this store is great!
-Another bit of Mattel fabulousness....my kids and I are all toy testers for the Mattel Imagination Center. They host numerous focus groups to test toy concepts, samples, commercials, etc....and you get rewarded. Depending on how long the kids are there, they get free toys and/or gift cards for Target! As a Mom, you get paid in Target gift cards. Usually if I am there for an hour, I get a $60-70 gift card! I save all of the gift cards I get (I let the kids spend theirs) to use to purchase gifts at Christmas. I usually end up having $300-$400 in gift cards!!! It seriously saves us during the holidays.
-Target clearance: Always walk the around the back-side of the end-caps at Target (especially the toy, seasonal/holiday, and home goods sections). There are seriously good deals to be found!
-Michael's Craft Store: This store has a great kids section AND you can always find a "40% or 50% off one item" coupon by going online. 
-Toys R Us, Target, and Amazon online clearance....We got a $30 game of LIFE (iPad version) for $12.50, super cute sparkly girly shoes for $2.25, KNEX basic building kits for $12 shipped, travel board game for $4, and more.  

EATING OUT:
-We don't eat out much....unless we have a gift card. Most fast food places completely gross us out (watch any food documentary and you will see why), so we don't eat at those places either. The "one" place we do eat 1-2 times a month (totally unhealthy, processed food junk...but cheap), is Little Caesar's Pizza. I can feed my family two pizzas and it only costs us $10 total. 

Other money savers:
-I make my own household cleaner using vinegar and Dawn dish soap
-I make my own laundry detergent (using this recipe http://duggarsblog.blogspot.com/2011/03/duggar-recipe-liquid-laundry-soap.html

*****NOTE!....I am not nearly as domesticated as the two things listed above make me sound......although I do hope to add homemade shampoo to the list soon! :0) *****

-Couponing.....wonderful deals are to be had if you have time to coupon. I have a friend who gets all sorts of things for free! However, I have never been able to get the hang of it, and do not have the desire/energy/time to figure it out. However, if you can do it, go for it!!!

Super Moms, with a little flexibility and searching you can find amazing deals to make every one of your super pennies stretch to its fullest potential! Do you have any super, money saving deals? SHARE!

GOOD INTENTIONS AND.....POPCORN FIGHTS!!!

My kids attend a very engaging," project-based", charter school that combines a classroom setting (2 days a week), homeschooling (2.5 days a week), and a 1/2 day of enrichment classes (Minecraft, chess, cooking, sports, art, Legos, robotics, etc.) 

A few weeks ago I was asked by staff at the school to speak at an upcoming workshop for parents. I was surprised to be invited to speak at the event. Although, we do some fun things as a family on our homeschool days, I don't consider myself well-versed in all things "project-based". I never thought I would be a homeschooler, and am just 2.5 years into this journey. However, I figured if another parent would be encouraged by my journey, ideas, and inspirations...well than I should probably go ahead and speak at the event. SO....last night I spoke at the workshop on "Project-Based Learning at Home". Along with sharing our family's journey and project ideas, I made it a point to encourage parents to be okay with their plans not going as expected....

Well....THIS is what happened today during homeschooling....

My two 3rd graders are doing a major focus on Mars in their class. So to support their learning at home, I bought a rocket kit at Michael's Art Store that involved using vinegar and baking soda to make the rocket blast off. My hopes were that we could measure the duration of time the rocket flew (from launch to landing) and analyze the data with line plot graphs. Well........we tried launching the thing eight times today.....epic failure. We only got it to launch three times, and the highest it went was about 1 foot. Then, I quickly looked up "rocket blasting" ideas on youtube and we tried an "easy", DIY rocket with a water bottle (and vinegar and baking soda).....another epic failure. Lastly, we resorted to using an air paper rocket thing we already had. It mostly worked. Sorta....kinda. Almost. We did all of that from 9:30am-1pm! At about 1:30 my kids and I were finally all sitting around the dining table "doing" some school work. The kids were munching on a large bowl of popcorn that was on the table. My oldest daughter asked if someone could hand her some popcorn. So...with my best decision-making skills in place...I took a handful...and threw it at her! I don't know what came over me. I think the many failed rocket launches somehow caused a moment of delirium. She looked at me like I was crazy! My other three children also froze and looked at me. A wide grin stretched across my face.....and a popcorn food fight ensued (I really got them!). It was flying everywhere and the kids were cracking up over their dream-come-true! A real food fight, in our real dining area, in OUR house! The decision-making got even better when I remembered that my husband was working in our home office, so the kids and I grabbed handfuls of popcorn and ambushed him too! It was complete madness! After calming down and cleaning up our mess, we ended the day with reading....and called our homeschool day done! 

I SO wish I had this story to tell last night at the workshop!

-Rocket failure.....but learned lots about trouble-shooting and perseverance (the kids did manage to make a line plot with some of the info they collected)
-Pop corn fight.....was some much needed stress relief and added tons of laughter to our day

That's what I get for making it a point at the workshop to encourage parents to be okay with their plans not going as expected!!!!

Super moms, may your best laid plans and beautiful intentions be appreciated 
always. And....if by chance....things don't go as planned....THROW POPCORN!!!

Stupid rocket thing....

VALENTINE'S DAY at SCHOOL IDEAS!

Although we do our best celebrate the "love" every day in our home, we do a few special things to celebrate Valentine's Day. It is a day to really focus on the blessings of our relationships. A few of our traditions are:

-My hubby and I make hand-made valentines for each of our kids and place them just outside their bedroom door on V-day morning.
-We eat on heart-shaped plates (I got them 90% off one year at Target after V-day was over)
-Breakfast: Heart-shaped pancakes or egg-in-a-hole with a heart cut out of the center of the bread
-Some sort of family-fun activity......my hubby and I usually do our Valentine's Day date on a day other than V-Day to avoid crowds.....plus we are pretty good at showing our love for each other throughout the year. :0)

For our kids' classmates/teachers:
-Super moms.....hear this......store bought Valentines are great! If you are strapped for time, avoid looking at Pinterest! Pinterest has the unique ability to make moms feel like failures when it comes to holidays and special occasions!
-If.....if.....if you go on to Pinterest and search for V-day ideas, steal the ideas......and make them realistic! That is what I did this year. My kids and I looked at some super, cute, time-eating, creative Valentine card creations.....however, I was just not interested in putting that much time into things kids are likely going to toss anyway. So, we stole ideas and made them realistic! Here are what my kids created this year....

 My daughter made a simple Rainbow Loom bracelet 

for each of her classmates and we made a simple tag on 

the computer (pinterest had this type of valentine with tags 

that included multi-layers of colorful paper, fancy fonts, 

and beautiful ribbons). 

 One of my kindergartners made this simple tag on a pink 

index card. We borrowed the wording from pinterest!

 My 3rd grade son made this for his teacher using a 

white index card and Disney pencils 

(his teacher loves all things Disney).

 My 3rd grade son's class is learning about space,

so he made these space-themed valentines for his 

classmates. We found the super bounce balls at the 

99cent Store (a four pack) and used black card stock. 

He wrote each message with a silver gel pen.

My kindergartner daughter made this for her 

teacher. Super simple! We cut her hand-print out 

of construction paper, glued two fingers down to 

say, "I love you", glued the hand to a popsicle stick,

and stuck it in a red bell pepper (her teacher 

prefers red bell peppers over apples...lol)

Super moms, Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate the love of the relationships we all have. You give, and give, and give love in so many ways to everyone around you. I hope this Valentine's Day, you know how precious you are to those you love!

THE BLESSING OF BEING HUMBLED

A while back I posted about a real, difficult struggle our family was dealing with. I wish I could say that things got easier after my post. I wish I could say that we now live in the land of "rainbows and unicorns". However, even with the advice of counselors, things got worse. After tons of research, advice, and prayers, we have had to come face-to-face with the fact that we believe our youngest son has Reactive Attachment Disorder. It is one of the things that adoptive parents pray never enters their family. We have learned that.....it effects many adoptive families. 

I am not sure why I was not better prepared for this possibility before completing our adoption process. Maybe I was so confident that "it would not happen to us".....I am a "super mom" after all....that I did not study up on it as much as I should. Maybe our adoption agency didn't talk about it much because they feared that less people will adopt if they knew the "real" possibilities of what challenges my enter their home. Maybe adoptive families did not talk about it much because they felt ashamed or guilty that they had done something wrong.

However, over the last six months of diving in to the world of RAD, I have read countless Facebook, blog, and chat group entries from families all struggling with children who have R.A.D.. It is an absolutely exhausting disorder that impacts the entire family. I have never known exhaustion or frustration on the level that I do now. 

It has been a humbling experience to admit that, although I think I am a pretty, darn, good mom.....I don't have a clue on how to handle a child with R.A.D.. I have beat my head against walls, collapsed to the floor in tears, raised my angry fists in the air, and had moments of helplessness and hopelessness for my adorable, beloved son.

We are still dealing with helping our son explore his own fears and sadness in healthy ways. I am still learning parenting strategies that will promote an environment where my son feels safe and encourage real, sincere bonding between the two of us. It is still very difficult. It is still exhausting. A book that has revolutionized my parenting though in the last month is, Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors, by Heather Forbes. It has opened my eyes.....and heart......to see my son in a new way. I am hopeful that we are on a path that will lead to real healing.

Through this humbling season, I have seen blessings. I know I am a "super mom" for my son because of the courage I have had to muster to admit that I needed help. That simple, but hard step has opened the door for me to:

-embrace and be embraced by a community of parents dealing with the same struggle.....adoptive parents are rock stars! 
-grow in my parenting of ALL of my children
-become a support to other moms struggling with all sorts of things
-helped me to become more compassionate
-helped me to see how conditional my love can be....and how to become more intentially unconditional.
-know I am not alone or a failure.
-know there is hope for my son.

So "Super Moms", always remember to look for the great blessings in the incredibly hard moments. They are there. Don't allow your frustration or exhaustion to blind you from seeing the blessings. Allow the hard times to keep you humble in your "superness". For when you are humble AND super, you are in the perfect position to see all of blessings surrounding you.

EEEEWWWWWWWWWW!

We took some family pictures (first time in 3 years) and had a wonderful time with a wonderful photographer. Among the beautiful individual shots of the kids, the great candid photos, and the staged family pics, the photographer told my hubby and I to KISS.....and captured the most fabulous moment ever.... 

If I had to add captions, they would say:

(left to right)
"My eyes! My eyes are burning!"
"This is disgustingly fabulous!"
"I can't stop watching, but wish I could!"

"Bleh! I am scarred for life! Jesus come quickly!!!"

The truth is our kids ask us to kiss on a regular basis just so they can make these types of expressions. They love being "grossed-out" at the love my hubby and I have for each  other. Despite the craziness of our day-to-day lives, our kids know, Mom and Dad love each other and THAT is an incredible gift we can give to them. Super Moms, make sure you take some time to give your hubby some P.D.A. in front of the kids.....they may act disgusted.....but secretly they love it.

P.S. This amazing pic was taken by Stacee Lianna (http://staceelianna.com/). She is insanely talented! 

"DATING" OUR KIDS and BIRTHDAY TRADITIONS

We make birthdays a big deal for our kids. It is a day to focus just on them....a day where they are treated with special care and attention. With four kids in our home, there is rarely time for one-on-one time with each child. We have had great intentions to schedule one-on-one time, but it has not happened. I have heard of parents who go on "dates" with their kids, but honestly, that word has always bothered me. "Dates" have a romantic conotation. I date my hubby.....not my kids (although I completely understand the innocent intention of the whole thing). If we have time to go on a date....that date is with my hubby because we believe it is critical for our kids to know that Mommy and Daddy work hard to make our relationship great and despite our crazy lives, we love each other very much.

We have lots of joyous time together as a family, but one-on-one time with each child is rare.....other than running errands occasionally. There are times I will take only one kiddo with me to Target or the grocery store so that we can have some time alone together (it is not glamorous, but functional).

So, birthdays are a big deal. Here are a few of our favorite traditions:

-Kids wake up in the morning to gifts and balloons in their favorite color (one balloon for each year....my oldest son just turned 9, so he woke up to 9 turquoise balloons).

-Kids get to pick what our family eats for one meal during the day.....some "super moms" allow their kids to pick what the family eats for all 3 meals during the day.....but I am not that "super".  :0)

-Our kids get parties where they only invite their closest friends. We don't do parties where we invite their entire class, because we have found that the focus becomes less about our child and more about entertaining the masses. We budget all year for parties and try to keep them under $150.

-During the week of each kiddo's birthday, we will take cupcakes to school, sports practices/games, and other outings to extend the celebration beyond just their birth"day". We don't worry about the amount of sugar being consumed this week (we are very sugar-conscious the rest of the year though).

I would love to hear what birthday traditions other "Super Moms" have!